upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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