Cold hands, warm shart.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
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