On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
