Me. At least after what I've been through.
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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