i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Randomize
