if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
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