If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
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