Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
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