awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
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