This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
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