so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
It's shark week go big or go home
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Randomize