Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Randomize
