Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
