Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Randomize