is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize
