im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
