im drinking this country out of the recession.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize