We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize
