My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
