Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
