he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
