Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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