I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
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