Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
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