I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
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