whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
