Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
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