I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
