yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
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