If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Randomize
