By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
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