wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize
