I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
