they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Randomize