Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
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