I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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