Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
