walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
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