My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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