I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Randomize