I feel like I'm in dance class right now
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Randomize
