i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
