you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
