I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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