No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
