Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Randomize
