U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
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