we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Randomize
