Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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