What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
