i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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