Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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