kristin has been a bad kristin
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
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