...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
