Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
