am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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