My hair reeks of homosexuality.
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
how drunk are you?
Several
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
