some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
