I wish my penis had an off switch
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
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