The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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