Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
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