I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
