Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
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