Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
