i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
