am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
