Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
